Ever have a great idea, then wake up and say "What was I thinking?" That's when the little critical voices in my head take over and remind me how horrible I am.... You see....Tonight I'm scheduled to be on stage, and sing a song I wrote. There's a whole article on the front page of the newspaper with my picture. There's no backing out.
It all looked so fun in my head, and now, my voice is cracking, and I'm listening not only to my own inner critic, but the imagined musings of the 2,000 people who will be present, and those who will watch it on television.
So, I must find a way to gag the "voices" or at least ignore them. Tonight I ride through my own fears. Courage is not about the absence of fear. It is about HEART, being VULNERABLE, and doing what you need to do anyway.
The melody is gorgeous, written by Mick Staebell. I had his new CD, and the words "Cedar Falls My Hometown" kept going through my head. So....l sat down and wrote it. That's a lie. It took days of playing with words, and resinging it to fit the melody, and trying to turn a phrase. Thing is: it's pure HEART. I'm afraid I'm going to cry and not even get the words out.
There are 2,000 handouts so everyone can sing. On the back we put little bios.... you know it all looks so amazing, an "international motivational speaker, a former Chicago model, an award-winning television producer and writer, a pastor retired after thirty five years to write Godiva." I forgot to include, "Big Chicken who feels like she is faking it till is making it." Have I done all that? Yes. And here's the secret my dear ones: I felt exactly the same way I did then as I did now. I just told the inner critic I was doing it anyway.
Jim is in Nina Amir's High Performance Coaching Group with me. (www.NinaAmir.com) We had a great online discussion about our inner critic. He calls it his "Itty Bitty Shitty Committee." As soon as he said it, I knew that was my answer. It tells that inner critic exactly who she/he is.
So my dear Go-Divas, I will pray for you and ask you to pray for me, that we all begin to feel more confident in our gifts and despite the lies of that itty bitty committee, we ride forward with heart and vulnerability into our authentic selves!
Today as you stand in your own arena, remember what Brene Brown says:
“I want to be in the arena. I want to be brave with my life. And when we make the choice to dare greatly, we sign up to get our asses kicked. We can choose courage or we can choose comfort, but we can’t have both. Not at the same time.”
How about you? How have you dealt with the voices of the "Itty Bitty Shitty Committee?"
VickiJolene
Photo by ian dooley on Unsplash
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