LADY GODIVA IS MORE THAN CHOCOLATE. She was about love, justice, and mercy. In a previous blog, I used the word "Bitch." Not very ladylike? Who says? I think that often a woman is being a lady in the truest sense and it stirs someone up and that one slaps her down with this power charged label. Many years ago Oprah did a show on "Bitches." It was one of the best shows she ever did in my humble feminine opinion.
I had stored this blog away in drafts....but now see that tonight is the Westminster Kennel Club Competition. So perhaps this is timely as the most magnificent dogs are presented. Tonight is BEST IN SHOW. All of these dogs created from the wombs of the most pedigreed bitches.
A bitch is a female dog. Watch dog competitions and the term is tossed around as lightly as a ballon. A bitch is hardwired to protect her pups. Usually, when someone calls a woman a bitch, it's because the woman is taking a stand of justice, mercy, or love in a fierce feminine protective way: whether she is birthing, nursing, hunting food, growling at predators, putting her body between the enemy and her loved ones, or working as hard as a sheepdog traveling the hills of Ireland to bring the lost ones home.
A witch was an ancient label put upon women who broke from the confines of traditional religion and medicine. She looked to nature. She used the forces of nature to heal and transform. She used plants, minerals, earth, sun, and moon energies to human bodies. And for that she/he was killed by threatening the norms. Now we would call her a Wholistic Wellness Practioner.
I now call these women Go-DIVAS.
My goodness, why does this word stir up one's ire?
Language is powerful. Labels are powerful. As I said, if you can label, you can justify de-humanizing a person and then treat them any way you wish.
Language is powerful. Let's claim it. Let's claim the label of "Bitches" in the organic pure way it was meant to be...as Females designed to protect and empower that which is hers, and that which is in her care.
If someone calls me a "bitch," I say "thank you"(well, I TRY to) because I remember the true role a Bitch was designed to play in the world. I do feel the sharp energy of the insult and it pierces my heart, but then I mentally claim the power of who a Bitch truly is. This might take me a long time...days, months...more? But I personally am aware of it, just very very human.
That said, my Go-DIVAS, I would add: To be "Bitchy" is not the same if it means being insulting, mean, distant, argumentative. That is not who were are. We are authentically ourselves, strong, loving, and respectful even in the worst situations.
To ponder:
How have you experienced the word "bitch?" Do you use that word to cut down others? Do you use it as a compliment? Did it help to see the power of the original language?
I'd love to hear what you think!
Blessings to you today,
VickiJolene
And yes, please send this to Oprah. Maybe she will do a podcast on it.
This post is dedicated to my cousin Robin Krech who taught me the power of sunglasses!
Photo Credit: Alan King 380383 at unsplash.com
This post reminds me of the Guerrilla Girls book titled Bimbos, Bitches, and Ballbreakers. As you suggested, VickiJolene, one way they suggest change is by embracing the term. When someone labels you with a derogatory term you take back your power by using it in the way you'd like it used. One extremely common stereotype is "bitch‟ (used in the title). The Guerrilla Girls write “Call a woman a Bitch or a Ballbreaker and what image comes to mind? A strong, aggressive female who isn't afraid to speak her mind, suffers no fools, and takes no nonsense. Not bad personality traits…”
They quote Elizabeth Hilts, author of Getting in Touch with Your Inner Bitch: “Any woman who succeeds at anything…
Being our authentic selves means being clear about our views while respecting the other. We will ruffle feathers and that is ok. And it is ok how another responds. Is it our resonsibility to soothe the other? People may claim that we "hurt" their feelings, but often those feelings are chosen. Important to consider is if the words did true "harm?" When we speak with clarity, love, respect, could we/would we be able to harm another?
Yes, how to be one's true self and not ruffle feathers?? It is a struggle in my life with a partner who often feels that if I voice an opinion different from his own that I am "arguing" and treating him as if he knows nothing. Totally his issue not mine but I am left to deal with the angry silence and find a way to let him feel "right".